Lula Bee

How different would you live your life...

2011-09-24T07:27:00.000-07:00

if you knew without a single doubt that JESUS was real and that this fleshly world we see before our eyes is nothing compared to the realness of the spiritual realm we cannot see?

I have run across some people who look at me funny when they see how completely my life has changed since my encounter with Jesus. I have caught glimpses of questions like "Why are you trying so hard?" "Can't you do one thing without making it about God?" Honestly, I have a hard time talking to some people now. I want to talk about Jesus and all the amazing ways He is showing up everyday. Many people don't want to talk about Jesus..."Christian" people. At times I find myself trying to forget about Him so I can have a "normal" conversation, then when it is over I am convicted of the fact that I said something stupid, ridiculous and should just in fact shut up and stick to talking about Jesus. When I fall back into those old habits of commiserating about daily life, I fall back into old ways of speaking and I hate doing that. It just feels bad. I can't find a balance here... is there even suppose to be one? I'm not sure...

What I can say is this. Once you have felt the glory of being in the presence of Jesus, many things just don't matter anymore. While at times, I do find myself getting caught up in the frustrations of daily life now I have fresh eyes to see them through. I see that they are tricks of satan. satan would like nothing more than for me to REACT to all those frustrations with yelling, anger, resentment and self pity, but I refuse. I see them for what they are... the only thing a defeated foe has to throw in my path... his attempt to make me stumble. Oh how he would love for me to yell at my children, to really rip into them and tear them down. he wants them destroyed, and he wants it to be by my own hand. The same goes for my husband. It is so easy to find fault in him and with his ways when satan's army is whispering in my ear. God tells us that satan comes to kill, steal and destroy and that he is the father of all lies. satan wants nothing more than to destroy my family, to rip us apart and destroy our testimonies by making us act in ways unbecoming a follower of Christ.

Now I am not interested in getting all caught up with thinking of satan in all things, but I do believe that if we deny his presence and influences we are not able to recognize him and stand against him. he distracts me while I pray and worship, whispers all the things I should find wrong in other people and while it is not always easy (nor am I successful at) standing up against his tricks, I find that just recognizing the source of all those things helps. Just when I am about to boil over in the midst of a string of frustrating events (like a 1 minute span including shaking an open container of pancake mix all over the kitchen and myself, burning my hand, child #2 calling me to me from her room, husband telling me oops just dropped your important paper into the abyss inside the crack of the computer desk- not that that has happened to me), my main goal is to turn my heart on Jesus and beg for his grace and mercy to be poured down on me anew and take it all away.

"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us." Romans 8:18

One day when we fall at the feet of our Savior in heaven, I am assured that none of this will even matter. In the presence of His love that is so powerful and all consuming, we will be only be able to worship in awe. I cling to that small glimpse of it that He gave me and long for the day when I will again feel that burning joy in my heart... that joy that surpasses any other earthly emotion... that joy that is not even describable with human understanding. God tells us that the earth is but a shadow of what is awaiting us in heaven. Think of the desperate love we feel for our children, and know that love is only a shadow of the love that our Father in heaven feels for us. A shadow of what He feels for us!!!! I think about that and even having felt a fraction of it, I still can't really comprehend it. All satan has in this world to take our eyes off the prize of Jesus' love are his puny darts of frustration, taking offense, anger, etc. and really in comparison those are pretty pathetic.

There are a lot of things I could say, but right now this is all I can think of..... "HELP!!!!"

2011-07-30T06:17:00.000-07:00

As in... LORD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! As the first day of school approaches....and really I don't even know when that is anymore because it was suppose to be this Monday...like in 2 days...but I am so NOT READY it is not even funny. If there were ever a time when I felt completely inadequate and unprepared for this whole homeschooling thing...it would be NOW. Last year I was so excited for the beginning of the year. It was my first year with both kids, and I had no idea what was in store for me. Now I am a wee bit wiser, and really the only thing I can say is.....LORD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! Yea, I know I already said that but it bears repeating...many times.

Many people tell me when they hear that I homeschool, "Oh, wow you must be so patient." This makes me laugh out loud...because...let me make this clear... I AM NOT PATIENT. I am the opposite of patient and this I am convinced is one of the reasons the Lord has called me to homeschool. You see, He is still working on me (and boy, does he have His work cut out). And so I know that my only hope is to PRAY....a lot...and lean on Him because, surely I do not have this under control. I absolutely cannot do this by myself. It is only by His grace that I can homeschool. So Lord if you are listening (and I know You always are).....Please help me to do this, because I can't on my own and please prepare my children's hearts...oh please just guide us all! Yall pray for us too, pretty please!

Pray without ceasing...

2011-07-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

Paul tells us to do this (1 Thessalonians 5:17), but what does it mean? Well, here's my take. Pray all the time, literally ALL THE TIME. Don't store up all your prayers in your mind where they will likely be forgotten throughout the day, and then try to spew them all out as you lay in bed and fall asleep.

Pray. All. The. Time.

Talk to God all day, like He is right there with you...because HE IS. Don't wait to make an appointment with Him or wait to check in with Him when you are not busy. Remember if the devil can't make you sin, he sure will keep you busy. If Christ is IN you, talk to Him like He is. He is right there with you always and He wants to hear from you always. I almost never sit down and try to pray. When something comes into my mind, I just pray it, right then and there. No need for a lot of time and special words. I pray while I am folding laundry, cooking, cleaning, even while talking to other people and driving (scary huh?). I share my heart with God a little bit at a time all day long. He already knows what's in there anyway. Isn't it nice when your own children come to you and share their hearts even if you already know what they have done or want to ask you? Doesn't it make you feel loved? I wonder if that is how He feels when we come to Him?

So Has God Used You Lately?

2011-07-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

"Please God, USE ME!!!" is what I have been praying lately... "Please just let me HEAR YOU and know what You want me to do." Well, He does not disappoint. In addition to becoming an Advocate for Compassion International (which I will write about later, as this is so funny it deserves a post all of its own), He has been showing up and using me in a series of other "smaller" ways as well.

The other morning I was feeling a little grumpy, just too many things to do and not enough time. R and the kids were asking to go to the pool, which of course made me even more grumpy...one more thing to do, right? So I had to pause and go to Him..."What is wrong with me? I don't want to feel this way. Lord, please help me, what do You want me to do?" His answer..."What does your husband need?" This week I am being made aware of the fact that I am to be a helper to my husband. That means I need to think more of him and less about my to do list. What is the real problem here?? PRIDE... pure and simple....whose to do's are more important? When my husband is home I am learning it is suppose to be his. This is hard, I won't lie. I won't say I am working on it either... it is He that is working in me and on me.

A funny thing happens when we obey though, that is when He can use us. Even though I really did not want to, I put aside all the things I had in mind to do and got the gang all lotioned and packed for the pool. R wanted the pool, so that is what he got. And in the process, God put me right where He could use me! At the pool, a familiar looking lady came up to me and started talking. We knew each other from L2's dance studio. She is a newly divorced mom and was looking for a single ladies Bible study... which of course our church has and hers does not. Our single ladies Bible study has some amazing women of God, who I just know will be a great help to her. I heard someone say that today's single mom is the "widow" of Biblical times (that we are commanded to care for in James 1:27) and I think that statement is right on. Sometimes I have wondered if having a husband who walks away from you voluntarily may in ways be more painful than having one pass from this life to the next? But I digress... my point is that by obeying the command to be my husband's helper, He placed me in a position to help a "widow" in need.

Also awhile back I started writing verses on index cards... just ones I came across that really spoke to me on that day. One day when the hubs (BC) was really challenging my faith I came across this one:

From now on let no one trouble me, for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus.
Galatians 6:17

Now granted, Paul was talking about his physical scars, but persecution can be emotional as well and on the day I wrote this one down it was really just the encouragement I needed.

Some time after that, I was sitting paying bills and found I had lost my little piece of cardboard I use behind my check carbons to keep the writing from going though, so I used this index card with Gal 6:17 in its place and just absently (or so I thought) stuck it in my checkbook. The other day I was at the drive up atm depositing some checks, my checkbook was out and ...BAM... I was hit with a command from the Holy Spirit. "Put that Gal 6:17 card in the deposit envelope." It was wild, my hands were shaking, my heart was pumping and I was breathing funny. I have never been hit that hard with a command where I totally recognized it as for sure from Him. Really, it was intense. I have no idea who needed that verse or why, but I have no doubt that it ended up in the right hands that day.

This is where she lives...

2011-07-08T08:04:00.000-07:00

Volenta.

She is the latest addition to my heart, our Compassion International sponsored child. She just turned 8 years old and lives in extreme poverty in Kenya. Through Compassion's Child Development Program at the KAG Siany Center she receives food, clothing, medical care, an education, instruction in personal hygiene, social skills and most importantly SHE GETS TO HEAR THE GOSPEL. She gets to hear that even though she was born into what seems like an impossible situation to overcome, Jesus desperately loves her. He left his place in heaven, came to earth to live, died on the cross and rose from the dead to save her and is making a place for her in heaven.

We get to write letters to her.... to encourage her, to share our faith with her, and to tell her not to believe the lies of poverty....to tell her she is beautiful, special, important, and that God loves her with an everlasting love. I have read and listened to countless testimonies of former Compassion children who have grown up, gone to college, broken free of poverty and are now working in their own ministries or with Compassion to continue proclaiming the gospel to the next generation of children that satan is trying to deceive with his lies of poverty.

Compassion International is soo soo much more than a child sponsorship program, it is a DISCIPLESHIP program. And Compassion makes it so easy for us to take the blessings we have received and directly impact the life of a child for Jesus...we can be His hands and feet. Won't you consider sponsoring a child today and changing their life in Jesus' name?

Matthew 25:34-45 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me no drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’

Help a Child

Never Underestimate the Power of the Holy Spirit

2011-06-30T21:09:00.000-07:00

This has been a joyous week in our house. In addition to my hubby coming to Jesus last week, my 6 yo L2 did as well! Now I can say that coming to Jesus as an adult at the ripe old age of 35 myself, I have been somewhat uncertain about at what age a child can really make a solid decision on their own to open their heart to Jesus. She has been asking me questions and telling me for months that she was ready and I in my lack of faith have been actually dismissing her, thinking she is just not mature enough to make that choice. Oh how foolish we become as we age! Of any person I know she is the most open about spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ. She tells friends, neighbors, family, and even complete strangers about Jesus. With a simple childlike faith at 6 years old she is out spreading the Gospel. Why as adults are we so afraid to tell others about Him? And who am I to tell her she is not ready?

Last week at VBS she told Jesus she believed in Him, asked for forgiveness of her sins, and asked Him to live in her heart. An adult counselor and myself decided for her that maybe she needed to be a little older..... Well, guess what? Jesus doesn't care how old she is, she called out to Him and He now has her in His hands. The Holy Spirit does not give a darn tootin what I or any other adult thinks. He already sealed her as His own. How do I know? Well for one thing, I have had no peace with my ridiculous decision to tell her she has to wait, it has been literally eating me alive...I am so sorry Lord, yes, I am an idiot. Because this child is now a different child, she has been transformed by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit...

And just where has the Holy Spirit directed her? Well, straight to the Word of God, of course. She is HUNGRY. She came to me this morning with her Bible asking me to read to her. So as part of "New Believer 101" I started with the Gospel of John. I read the first chapter aloud, and then find her reading on her own all throughout the day. By bedtime she is done with Chapter 5. I read her Chapter 6: Jesus Walks on Water and Jesus is the Bread of Life as a bedtime story. And guess what? That child understands it! "No, Momma Jesus didn't really want them to eat Him, He just wants them to BELIEVE in Him." If only adults could understand this?! I am just further convinced of the power of the Holy Spirit.

I can't wait til we get to this one...

Jesus answered them, "I told you, and you do not believe. The works I do in My Father's name, they bear witness of Me. But you do not believe, because you are not of My sheep, as I said to you. My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. and I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand." John 10:25-29

Real Men Love Jesus!

2011-06-28T19:35:00.000-07:00

I had been seeing this bumper sticker a lot lately and quite frankly it was making me a little sad...but no more now that my man is a "REAL Man"....yep, my hubby invited Jesus to be his savior last week!! PRAISE JESUS!!! There is a new name in the Lamb's Book of Life!!

After I accepted Jesus last year, the Holy Spirit led me to read the Bible. In the beginning I hid my reading from R because I was afraid he would think I was weird. After praying for direction to find a church I was directed to the very church I had vowed I would never again enter as a teen. One thing that I have been learning lately is that we should all be very careful about telling God that we refuse to do anything. I am convinced this is a pride issue. I had a few other chruches in mind that I would have been happy to attend...but no, God sent me right back to where I had dug in my heels and screamed "No!". It took me about 3 months to obey His direction because I was too afraid R would completely reject a Baptist church (plus, honestly I was a little annoyed). We cannot be fully sbmitted to God's will if we are still trying to direct our own life.

God's timing really is so perfect. When I first started attending worship with the kids, R's work schedule had him at work every Sunday morning. So basically we had already started going before he could say no, which I just know he would have had I just suggested we all start going as a family. Then after 3 weeks his schedule that he had been on for over a year just magically, mysteriously (not really hee hee!) changed and he was suddenly off Sundays (God is so good!). His very first day at chruch he heard a message about the Importance of Fathers as Spiritual Leaders at Home. The next week the message was Do You Have a Person You Know Who is a Hard Case? You Think They Will Never Come to Jesus? Don't Give Up! I should have listened harder to this one lol!

The Holy Spirit began pushing me to go forward, profess my faith and ask for baptism... again I told God "No, I can't!! That will totally freak R out!"...the harder I protested, the harder He pushed me until after about a month a cement truck could not have stopped me from running off down the isle and jumping in that water! Again, be careful, what you tell God you will not do...so far everything I have refused to do I have now done and realize that those things were required of me out of obedience for a greater purpose. If I were still sitting at home reading the Bible in secret do you think R would have come to Jesus by now? God's ways are higher than our ways and when we obey He richly blesses us!

Over the past few months R had a lot of questions and I did my best to answer them. Honestly at times I know the answers were not my words, they were His. Having a husband by my side who loved Jesus was not even something I had dared to hope would ever happen... oh I prayed for it to happen...A.L.O.T! But I was afraid to even hope, because really I thought the chances were slim... BUT GOD. Never again will I be afraid to hope for anything because...

"With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Mercy Me - Compassion International - Christian Ministry

2011-06-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

When it suddenly hits you...

2011-06-25T10:38:00.000-07:00

...the answer to a question from long ago....a question that you forgot you had even asked, but at the time had seemed so important.....

Back in my days BC (yes, that is before Christ) I was married. We were joined in a civil ceremony, which at the time in my 22 year old mind was fine by me. I loved him with a naive desperation. I thought he was the all, the everything...and most of all i believed he was "different" from all the other men....i just knew our love was greater and more everlasting than any other. That was my first mistake...and now in hindsight i can see it was the beginning of the downfall. To my shock, when our son was a few months old, he decided this life with me was not for him. He left and wanted a divorce. I never saw it coming and at the time, I honestly thought my world was over... and suddenly now I find myself jolted with the realization of why i fell so far when it happened.

It can be a strange journey when you give your life to Jesus. He begins to change you and leads your mind to discover things about yourself and your path in life that previously had seemed so mysterious to you. I had always vaguely believed in God, but until last year had never personally handed my life over to Jesus to accept His free gift of salvation. I never really understood what people would say about how He changes you from the inside out....but I am in awe of His grace and what he is doing in my heart everyday. I can say that my divorce is something that put a heavy burden of guilt on me for years, but over time I had let it go and come to a certain peace over it. Recently I read a passage that started a unexpected chain reaction in my mind and led me back to that time I had not thought about for so long.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."

— Maya Angelou

I don't even remember where I stumbled upon this ....but as soon as I read it I felt a jolt and instantly was flooded with a distant memory of sitting on my marriage #1 couch flipping channels one Sunday morning and landing briefly upon a TV sermon about loving God more than anything, even your spouse.... i remember pondering over that for a moment... and i remember thinking.... that is just not possible.... how can i love God more than my husband? And i remember thinking...hmmm....i just can't do that...and changed the channel...

....and now it all makes sense...at the time going through the divorce i was a disaster... a serious mess....my whole world had fallen apart because i had based my whole world on a mere human man...a sinful (like us all) prideful flesh and blood man.... i still held on to a distant faith that God had a plan for me, but I do remember the constant angry nagging question in the back of my mind "How can this be what is best for my baby...to have 2 divorced parents raise him separately...not as a family...how can God let this happen!!!!?"....i was mad and i questioned this incessantly....i only trusted God a little bit and as we know that is about as good as not at all....and all the while he was just patiently waiting for me to ask him in...

So there i was... i had put all my faith in the inherently flawed love of an earthly man, but without any trust in Jesus, the only real true LOVE...when i look back at it now i can see it so clearly...marriage is a joining of 3 into 1, and if you leave out the most important member of that trio you are doomed to fail.....but this was a failure that i needed...a failure to bring me down to my knees and see for forevermore that every man, woman and child on this earth will at some point let us down...our first love and the only one who deserves our full faith is our Heavenly Father... thank you Jesus for being so patient with me....

Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus said to him, "Love the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment."

This is easily the most difficult commandment to keep. Even if you think for a moment that you can, life quickly comes in, rears its ugly head and shows us that our priorities really lie elsewhere. But this command is evidence that God's love for us is so amazingly huge. To love God above all else I believe is where God shows us how much He wants to protect us. He wants to keep our heart from investing itself completely in places where we can be hurt so quickly and easily. This helps give us perspective on this lifetime here on earth. Our life here is fleeting, James tells us it is a vapor. And it is easy to fully invest ourself here and forget that. I am not saying I have or ever will be able to fully do this, but when we keep things in perspective it changes us. God is the source of all love and when I remember that, he magnifies the love I am able to give others. That love takes on a different character than what we can give on our own. Now when I look back, I see how shallow and flimsy that old "love" I gave was before I knew the true love of Christ. The love we are able to give once we know the love of Christ is a love full of hope, for our sights are set on the life to come.

Compassion - One

2011-04-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

Be Bold for JESUS, Without Scaring the Neighbors...

2011-04-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

Years ago I had a neighbor named Nikki. There was always something a little different about her. I admired the calm and comfortable way she had with her children, the way she always cared for others. Even though she had her own busy life as a homeschooling mom, she still found time to give of herself, to volunteer even. I felt drawn to her in a way I could not explain. At the time I did not know what it was that set her apart from most of the other people I knew. But now I know that difference was Jesus. My friend Nikki was saved and she just exuded the fruits of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.

One morning after having a particularly upsetting conversation I was standing outside on the driveway with L1 while he was playing. He was about 3 years old. L2 was 1 and was inside napping in her crib. I remember I was crying. I saw her coming down the sidewalk with her little ones in tow. I thought to myself, "Come on, pull yourself together...dry those eyes and put on your happy face." But I just could not reign in the tears. No matter how hard I tried they would not stop. She of course saw me, was worried and asked if I was ok. I don't even remember exactly what I told her, but I did not feel like talking about it. I knew she cared and would listen if I wanted her to, but she did not press me.

Later that day my doorbell rang. It was Nikki. "I know this may seem a little strange, but I was out earlier and I just felt like I needed to get this for you..." She handed me a "Women of Faith New King James Devotional Bible". I am still awestruck that she did this for me. She knew I was Catholic, and Catholics have the Catholic Bible. I was like "Oooookay.... ummmm... thanks...". It was July 16, 2005. I know the date because she wrote it on the first page along with "To: Allison, From: Nikki, Occasion: Just because". Even though I was not ready for it on that day, that Bible was still sitting on my bookshelf waiting for me 5 years later when I was.

Our friendship continued on after that day with no ill effects from her doing something that most would see as "weird". When she and her family moved away the next year I had a really hard time with it. I wondered what was wrong with me when I could not stop crying. I knew I could still talk to her on the phone or through email, but I was just so sad to have that feeling she brought me disappear from my daily life. I still did not know what that feeling was at the time... but now I know it was Jesus. She had Jesus in her heart and was in effect showing Him to me everyday.

She was also the first homeschooler I ever met and thus, through her, the Lord planted that seed as well. The way that Jesus shows us His Spirit through the lives of His believers is really an amazing and powerful thing. The fruits of the Spirit are plain to see even to those who do not yet believe. Makes you wonder who may be watching you eh?

This is absolutely AMAZING! See what happens when you seek the TRUTH...

2011-04-02T22:09:00.000-07:00

MY TESTIMONY

2011-03-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

OK, so...... a little background would be helpful... here goes. My parents are Baptist. When I was young we moved a lot and never really stayed anywhere long enough to set down roots in any particular church ...until I was about 12 years old... and let me just say... at this age, I was not very happy about going to church...in fact I HATED it....really and truly I despised going ...why? Because in Baptist church, you cannot just go, sit through it and then go back to your life without someone asking something of you. At the end of most Baptist sermons is the Invitation.... if you are not familiar with it, that is when the pastor asks you.... have you personally accepted Jesus as your Savior? Have you invited Him into your heart? Have you asked for forgiveness of your sin? Does Jesus lead your life? If so, the free gift of salvation is yours...if not, well .... Can you see why I hated it so? I was constantly being called out, it was so annoying.  During my teen years I was just WAY too cool to follow Jesus, all I wanted was to listen to my music and have my parents and Jesus leave me alone. Eventually I stopped going and vowed never to return to the Baptist church.

At 22 I marry my first husband, a nonbeliever...and it did not turn out well. After 5 years of what I had thought was the world's greatest marriage and the birth of our son, he walked out the door to be with his girlfriend. I was beyond devastated, I was destroyed. L1 was 4 months old. I cried out to God "Why, Why, Why? How can you let this happen?" I believed that God existed somewhere out there, but I never really called on Him for anything unless there was a problem. I prayed and asked for His help...but I still never asked Him to be my personal savior....I never even considered giving my life over to Him, I just selfishly wanted Him to fix mine, in my way and in my time.

At 29 I married again, this time going through the Catholic RCIA conversion program since my husband's family was Catholic. I knew absolutely nothing about the Catholic faith, but I was so excited because I thought this meant that he at least believed God existed. L2 was on the way and I was doing what I thought would unify our new family. And I was happy to do it. I finally thought I had found the answer. I went to my classes, I learned my prayers, did my sacraments... but still somehow I did not feel close to God. I brushed it off. I thought it was my fault. I knew I was doing everything wrong at church. I thought maybe if I could just remember how to use the holy water and genuflect and to receive the host the right way it would be better. I kept trying harder to do it all right. But still I just felt lost amidst it all.

As part the schedule of sacraments, when L1 was in 1st grade we signed him up for Wednesday night prep classes. Because of his autism, I attended classes with him all year and was actually excited to do so since I had not been to these as a child, like most Catholics. I thought they would help me understand the faith better.  He was having a really hard time in class and towards the end of the year I realized that I simply could not put him through anymore of it. After having a full day at school where he was already overwhelmed, the class was pure torture for him. He would sit flipping himself out of the chair, roll around on the floor, his face and ears would turn bright red, he would knock over the desk and he would cry.  Often he would not be able to calm down even after we returned home. I was wondering what this was all for anyway. This teacher was not talking about Jesus. We were memorizing prayers... for months we did nothing but read and recited 3 prayers... all while we turned to stare at a framed picture of the pope.  Something inside me was restless. This just did not feel right, but I could not put my finger on why.

Since L1 was having such a difficult time sitting through the class, I inquired the next year about options for learning the material at home instead and was told that 2nd grade was a very important year because of preparing for first communion.  I was told my child would have to physically attend classes at the church if he was "to participate fully in the faith" aka receive the sacrament of first communion. I thought about what it meant to take communion and knew even if L1 somehow mangaged to memorize all the right prayers in time, that he would not have any real understanding of what he was praying... and if he did not understand what the prayers meant, what was the point?

In pondering over this I remembered something else. R and I had not gotten married in the Catholic church because of the fact that I was divorced. We tried, but were told that in order for the Catholic church to marry us, we would have to pay $500 to them and get my first marriage annulled in the eyes of God and the church. In the process of the annullment the church would contact my exhusband and ask for his opinion on the matter.  At this time relations with my exhusband were somewhat strained. Even though it was his decision to walk out on our marriage, he was angry that I had moved on and that L1 was going to have a Stepdad. The grass was no longer greener for him with his girfriend. I had no idea what he would say if the Catholic church called him up and asked for his consent to have our marriage blotted out so I could move on and marry R. I started thinking about this and realized that... My ex was an atheist.  We were married in a civil ceremony by a justice of the peace. At that time I was basically an agnostic. I started to wonder was my first marriage even valid in the eyes of God? R and I were running out of money, so in the end we opted to be married by an Episcopalian priest in an outdoor ceremony. We figured at some later time we would persue the annulment and have our marriage blessed by the Catholic church. But still I felt a little uneasy... according to the Catholic church we were not really married at this point.

I remembered something else from when I went to my first confession that really struck a cord in me. At the time I had simply brushed this aside, but the thought of it just kept coming back to me now. I went to my first confession a few months into the RCIA program when I was told to go. I was very apprehensive about it because I was riddled with guilt over the fact that I was divorced, had not gotten an annulment yet and I was terrified that God had already condemmed me for it. I was crying as I spoke to the priest confessing this. I was so upset and felt like God could never love me for being divorced. The priest told me I needed the annulment to make it right. He then kept the confession centered on masterbation. He repeatedly asked me if I was commiting the sin of masterbation. Mind you I was still crying over the fact that I was condemmed for being divorced. I repeatedly told him I did not masterbate. I was married to R for goodness sake. But no matter how many times I denied it, he kept asking me. Did he not believe me? I was there for confession, why would I lie? The whole thing made me feel uncomfortable sitting face to face with an eldery celebate man who continued to ask if I masterbated. I confessed a few other things. I don't even remember what at this point and he gave me my penance...say 3 Hail Marys and one other prayer, I forget which one.

The priest never mentioned

Matthew 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

I came across this verse later and found it the key to the end of feeling condemmed by God. My ex had been unfaithful to me, so in God's eyes I was not condemmed for divorcing him over it. I was not committing adultery by getting married to R because my ex had been the one to commit adultery. God understood me He could love me and forgive me afterall! Why did the priest not tell me this?

This was probably one of the hardest decisions of my life but with a heavy heart I came to my husband with the prospect of leaving the Catholic church. Even when he agreed with me the decision was still hard and full of guilt. According to the Catechism of the Catholic church there is no salvation outside of its walls, if one has knowledge of the Roman Catholic church's existence. We would now be considered heritics and would be accursed in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. That was kind of scary. But I felt like we had no choice. How could we stay in a church that had no place for my son with autism?

We tried another church and talked about going to others, but always found an issue that would keep us at home on Sunday mornings.

In many ways God continued to call to me during this time but I was blinded to my need for a savior by the fact that I thought I was a good, nice person (ha!). Then in June 2010 Jesus showed up and changed me forever. I went to the endodonist for a root canal. I used to be one of those people who would freak out during dental procedures. I would shake... cry... I couldn't breathe. Literally I would be terrified. I needed nitrous oxide gas and I needed a lot of it! I went in this day and they hooked up my nitrous mask....it was not working... this is very very very not good. They tell me I can reschedule, but I really want this tooth fixed....i am tired of tooth pain. So I tell them to just go ahead and I do what I always do when I need help....I selfishly pray.... I lay in the chair for 45 minutes and prayed for every single person or situation that I can even remotely think of where I want God to fix something. I am still terrified. I began to pray desperately,

"HELP ME! HELP ME! HELP ME!".

Then something happened that has forever changed my life. There are really no words that I can use to adequately describe this. But.... I was suddenly paralyzed. I felt a blinding white light, a light so bright and all enveloping it made any other light I had previously seen with my human eyes seem like a dim nightlight. It was everywhere all at once.. in front of me, behind me, it was going through me. And when I say felt... I mean felt. My eyes were clenched tight. I could not see anything. How can you feel a light? This is why I say there are no words to adequately describe it... because I FELT LIGHT. And I felt this amazing feeling deep down inside of my chest...it was like a burning, a searing JOY. It was as if the very cells in my body were like magnets being pulled toward Him. It was a feeling that eclisped any other human emotion I have ever felt. It was JESUS and it was GLORIOUS... being in His presence was like every puzzle piece clicking into place all at once... and there is nothing else on this earth that even comes close to it. I heard something, but it was not the sound of a voice exactly. I suddenly was overcome with a feeling... that feeling was...

"LET ME IN."

I knew immediately it was Jesus... there was no question... there was no hesitation... instantly I was inviting Him in. I told Him to take over, lead me to where He wanted me. I don't remember much else after that. I just lay there full of joy and wonder. I was stunned. How had this happened? I never had a thought or intention of inviting Jesus into my heart when I first starting praying.... it never even occurred to me that I needed to. Quite simply, after years of asking for help... I guess He decided to reveal to me exactly what I needed to do to get the help I kept asking for all these years. I left that day and not much happened...not at first.....

Then I began to find myself at odd times thinking about the Bible....so I starting picking it up and reading....I started having lots of questions...i found myself on the Internet looking for answers...things were happening...slowly...

Fall rolls around. This year I am homeschooling both kids and L1 starts to have major problems. His anger and temper are out of control. He is throwing tantrums and hitting me constantly. I do something I swore I would never do. I go to his doctor and ask for medication. We try it and it is a disaster. It makes him worse...somehow he is even more angry and uncontrollable. I am a serious wreck... crying all the time... literally at my wits end... i am thinking of switching doctors to get more serious medicine for him....then i realized i had forgotten about something..... GOD. I was down here running around like a lunatic trying to solve this problem with earthly means, and not once had i ever thought to ask God for help... or more importantly to GIVE THIS PROBLEM UP TO HIM.

HAVE FAITH THAT GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF IT.

This problem was not bigger than God, and I needed to tell him that I had finally realized that. This is when everything changed for me. The moment I gave up worrying over this problem and gave it up to Him is when I finally put my full faith in Jesus. And it was the moment that things with L1 started to get better. As suddenly as it began the extreme behaviors stopped. He stopped hitting me. He stopped throwing things at me. And my attitude was better for dealing with the outbursts he did have. I was calmer, it was not the end of the world anymore and I trusted Jesus to take care of it. He is the only one who can and He has been doing just that.

I had been praying for the Lord to lead me to a church and when I heard His answer I was in shock. I had come before God and given Him my two choices, two non denominational churches, and asked Him which one would be better. Oh my! This is hilarious to me now! I remember the night he spoke to me so clearly... His answers was MBC, my parent's church... you know, the one I had had vowed to never enter again. This was not the church of MY choice.  My immediate response after I picked up my jaw was a big ol "NO!" First of all I did not think this church would go over well with my husband, and second of all I was just plain annoyed! I just didn't want to go there, that was the place I had dug in my heels and told Him "no" so many years before... and honestly now I think that is part of the reason He sent me back there. It took me a few months to obey, but I did and that is what I am still learning now....obedience.

Shortly after that I started taking the kids to an art class and found myself sitting in a room with 4 other homeschooling moms...all of them Catholic. We had nice conversations, then there was a question about my faith. I answered in the most honest and tactful way I could muster. Then I left and said "Um....Lord? Are you trying to tell me something? Are you saying you want me to be Catholic?" I was then led on a quest through the Scriptures looking for the truth. I found a few Catholic apologetics resources online and started reading the New Testiment, all of it. I read through the explanations and verses cited by the catholic sites and asked the Holy Spirit to be my guide. My prayer was to find the truth. "Lord please let me find the truth in Your Word. If you want me to be Catholic, please let me know because I want to do this Your way." What I found was very enlightening to say the least. Somehow the Bible was making sense to me.  This had certainly never happened before when I had tried to read anything from it. That is the power of the Holy Spirit!

It is amazing to me what a difference it makes to look to the Scriptures first to determine how you should worship... let the Scriptures be your guide. Read them in context... then ask God to help you understand... He will not fail you. If you ask Him for truth, He will reveal it to you. Do not pluck from the Bible to justify man-made doctrine, instead look at the scriptures first then make sure your church follows them. There is a difference.

But God is so good.  He prepares us in so many ways. And through this trial He prepared me for something that I never saw coming... a challenge from the one person I would have never expected to be challenged by... My point is not to judge anyone else. Your personal relationship with God is between you and He alone. Only you can hear what He is saying to you. Each one of us has our own journey. People are saved by their true belief in Jesus Christ and saved people can be anywhere.... in any church or not in a church. But I would urge anyone who has questions about their church or faith to just simply read the Bible, start in the New Testament...it is all there. Ask God the help you.  He will.

My journey to being saved certainly has not followed any checklist. I never prayed the "Sinner's Prayer".  Jesus literally reached out and saved me. He poured grace on me. And He has lead every step pf the way since then. That first day my prayer was simply for Him to take over my life, to lead me. He led me first to the Bible, then through a problem to firmly establish my TRUST in Him. Although I had been led to confess a few specific sins previously, as I was standing atop the steps over the baptism pool I was overcome with the full weight of shame and sorrow over the complete sinful rebellion of my past life. And that weight was immediately lifted as I spoke from my heart to the Lordand asked for forgiveness. Come to the Lord with a heart that truly seeks him and He will lead you! I feel the Holy Spirit guiding me everyday and my main focus is to do all I can to listen and be led in the direction He wants for me. I cannot wait to see all He has in store!

For so many years I thought that God was out there somewhere...but He was not close to me because I had not asked Him to be....I was only praying for help when I had problems...but that is not the way my friend, I know because He told me so...I was not saved by a vague idea that God exists...I was saved when I believed that Jesus died for ME and asked Him to be Lord of MY life.

We are all sinners and have fallen short of the glory of God...not one of us is righteous, no not one...our attempts to do good are as filthy rags to the Lord...the wages of sin are death...BUT GOD so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life...by faith we are saved, it is a gift from God not of works, least any man should boast...confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, believe in your heart God rasied Him from the dead and you will be saved...believe, repent, be baptized and recieve the Holy Spirit...all of those who receive Him and believe on His name, He gives the right to become the children of God...we were buried with Christ by baptism and raised up with Christ because of our faith in God's power...now walk in newness of life....

To pay for your sins Jesus was crucified, died, was buried and rose again on the third day.

My question for you is this: Have you accepted Jesus Christ alone as your Lord and Savior? In what are you trusting for salvation? Your family traditions? Your church? Your attempts to do good? Jesus paid it all with His precious blood on the cross. Trust in Christ alone and He will save you. Is Christ in your heart? If you are uncertain, make sure you give Him an open invitation to come in and take over your life. HE WILL and all in heaven will REJOICE!

So why are you reading this today?

Are you here to rejoice in another salvation?

Or is He speaking to you?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever BELIEVES in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God."

John 14:6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. "

Acts 8:36-38 Then Phillip....preached Jesus to him. Now as they went down the road, they came to some water. And the eunuch said "See, here is water. What hinders me from being baptized?" Then Phillip said, "If you BELIEVE with all your heart, you may." And he answered and said " I BELIEVE that Jesus Christ is the Son of God." So he commanded the chariot to stand still. And both Phillip and the eunuch went down into the water and he baptized him.

Acts 2:38 Then Peter said to them "Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 8:9-14 But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His. And if Christ is in you, the body is dead because of sin, but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many are led by the Spirit of God, these are the Sons of God."

John 15:5 "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit:
for without Me you can do nothing."

Galatians 5:22-25 But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such there is no law. And those who are Christ's have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

Matthew 7:20 "Therefore by their fruits you will know them."

Matthew 7:21-23 "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord', shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in your name, and done many wonders in your name?' And I will declare to them, 'I never knew you...' "

Romans 1:18-22 For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them, for since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, because although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools.

Matthew 7:7-8 "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened."

Romans 10:9-11 that you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and BELIEVE in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one BELIEVES unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

Romans 7:18-20 Therefore, as through one man's offense judgement came to all men, resulting in condemnation, even so through one Man's righteous act the free gift came to all men, resulting in the justification of life. For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so also by one Man's obedience many were made righteous. Moreover the law entered that the offense might abound. But where sin abounded, grace abounded so much more....

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Galatians 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ;
it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me;
and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Romans 6:4 We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.
James 4:7-8 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.

2Peter 3:17-18 ...beware lest you also fall from your own steadfastness, being led away with the error of the wicked; but grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

2Timothy 3:1-5 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power.

Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it."

I just realized ...

2011-02-24T18:42:00.000-08:00

I posted a whole list of our curriculum on Valentine's Day!!!

How romantic!!!

In case you were wondering...

2011-02-14T17:06:00.000-08:00

what curriculum we use....i will TRY to list it here....bear in mind, i think I am a little scattered so sometimes we use a little of this for awhile, then move on to that.....then go back to something we haven't used in awhile...and we definitly do not do all of this everyday....

so here goes...

Math
Horizons Math
   L1- Grade 3
   L2-Grade 1

Spelling
All About Spelling
   L1 & L2- Levels 1 & 2

Phonics
Explode the Code
   L1- Level 4.5, 5
   L2- Level 1, 2, 3, 4
Drops In the Bucket- Level A

Readers
Sonlight
   L1- Grade 2 Beginning & Intermediate
   L2- Grade 1, Grade 2 Beginning & Intermediate
plus TONS of library books

Read Alouds
Sonlight
   L1 & L2- Core K and Core 1+2
plus a BoxCar Children marathon

Grammer
First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind
   L1 & L2- Grades 1 & 2

Writing
Writing With Ease
   L1 & L2- Level 1
we use this sparingly and also do pages from the Draw Write Now books

Handwriting
Handwriting Without Tears
   L1 & L2- Levels 1 & 2

Science
Apologia Zoology 1- Flying Creatures of the Fifth Day

History
We loosely follow the topics in Sonlight Core 1+2 with lots of library books and unit studies

A public school student's story

2011-01-29T16:23:00.000-08:00

So this is what it feels like....

2011-01-26T19:18:00.000-08:00

to have patience and perseverance rewarded........WOW....it feels AWESOME!

In an effort to push L1 out of his comfort zone and give him some new experiences, I signed him (and L2) up for a homeschool PE class at the Y. I knew L2 would love it...running....playing games...making new friends...what's not to love, right? L1 I knew would love it, not so much....it would be new...loud...confusing....not his idea....not under his control....he would have to do things other kids and a teacher wanted him to do. These things are not exactly his strong suit.  But in addition to being good for him physically, I really wanted him to do this to challenge him in all those other areas.

Let me just say, it has been rough......like really, really not good rough.   Most days he would do the warm up stretches and some running then, fall apart into a pile of tears and sit on the sidelines while the games were going on.  I will give him credit though....he really did try at first...the first time they played dodge ball....he was right out there trying his hardest to figure out what in the heck was going on...but being handicapped in the area of picking up social cues does not help one in the game of dodge ball.....you guess wrong and you get pounded in the head with the ball.  And that is exactly what happened the first game he played in....so really, i can't blame him much for not wanting to play anymore.

The class moved on to kickball...also hard on the socially challenged...think about how difficult it is to figure out what all those people are doing running around the bases...when do you take the chance and run for the next base? When do you stay put?   There are just a lot of variables to take in even for the typical kid...much less one who finds it hard to read what other people are doing. His coaches, bless their hearts, have given him lots of help and also learned when to back off and just let him observe....the observing part is very important for him to be able to do.

So for the past 4 months since we started in September, 2 days a week he has emerged from the gym with the wrath of a caged animal...yelling at me...hitting me...throwing drinks and shoes in the car....and most days taking at least 2 hours to calm down enough once we make it home to come close to finishing his school work for the day. Many days I would cry along with him. I almost let him quit...but with every prayer I still felt like i couldn't let him give up....was physical education really that important to me? ....no, but teaching him to deal with things that are frustrating is that important to me.   If I was going to take (most of) those challenges out of his school day by homeschooling, then he surely needs to figure out how to deal with it in other places.

We have talked about it a lot...prayed about it a lot...done role playing about self control.....even though it broke my heart to punish him for behavior that most of the time i was not sure he could control...i did it..."no, you are not allowed to hit momma, and if you do there will be punishment".....

This week has been good....no it has been AMAZING! He is participating more....but most importantly, there is no crying in the gym....he is leaving happy...no hitting...no yelling....no throwing anything...he is (i am almost scared to say it) calm when we leave...it really feels like an amazing triumph, and i am surely letting him know how proud his momma is!

My heart's been stolen.....

2011-01-26T18:44:00.000-08:00

Who Knew?

2010-10-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

When I first began homeschooling the boy last year, I thought I was doing it because of autism...with the hopes of giving him a real, true solid education.

Similarly, when I began the same journey with L2 this fall, I thought the real reason I was doing it was to keep her sweet, free spirit safe from all the ugliness dished out by school children.

Little did I know, that the real one being educated here was going to be ME... Now, I mean more than just brushing up my rusty memories about Ancient Greece. What I have found brought to the forefront is a huge, growing pile of my own personal issues that needed to be tended to. I have tried my best to be a what I thought was a good Mom, but it seems that my patience has been growing thinner and not thicker over the years. I have been easily annoyed, and quick to anger...not good traits to have if you are spending 24/7 with small people.

And so.....it would seem that this whole deal, it's success or failure, really is going to depend on how well I can adapt myself. I have been praying ...ALOT...asking for help, but most of all for grace. I need to accept that these kids are not going to follow any book or set of rules...why I am I just now really seeing this? When it all is said and done the main thing I want for them is to love learning...and shoving workbooks down their throats is really not a good way to make that happen. So, I have been working on adjusting myself and my methods.

And the results of this change have been nothing short of amazing. We are now doing spelling, not at the dinning table, but as an oral spelling bee while they swing wildly on the playset. Reading happens in the back of the van while we drive home from Grammy's house, or huddled under a blanket roof in the top of the fort. But most importantly it is happening when they WANT it to happen, when they are HAPPY for it to happen.

Now I do have a few tricks up my sleeve. Obviously there are some things that simply would never get done if they stayed on their own timeline forever. But I have found that a few strategically placed books will do wonders for them wanting to read...this requires a little thinking ahead on my part at times, but is not hard overall. They do have an "assignment list" everyday, and for the most part they are in control of when each thing gets done. They take lots of long breaks to play together outside...I like to think of this "Building Imagination 101". And I hope that by putting them on their own schedule they are developing a sense of personal responsibility...so far so good.

The most surprising thing that has happened is the bond that is growing between them. They are now truly each other's best friend, thinking more of each other's feelings and needs each day. And if you know of L1's background that is AMAZING indeed! No social skills class at school has done for him what spending time playing with his own sister has been able to accomplish. There is a great deal of learning going on in this family these days and most of it has nothing to do with school studies.....

Another reason to LOVE homeschooling!

2010-07-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up to this the other morning...

all from my boy who HATES to write...

no one even asked him to this time!

Yep, it's been awhile....

2010-06-29T15:35:00.000-07:00

Really I had all but given up on this blog...I started homeschooling the boy back in January and I have had little to no time to even think about writing anything here......or doing much of anything else for that matter. But I do miss it. Many times I feel like I have a few things to say, but if I don't have a pretty picture to add I just don't bother.....or like right now I decide to sit down a write and 5 bombs go off in the house distracting my already scattered mind and requiring my immediate attention.

We have been on a never ending roller coaster of determining our ultimate family plan just because I want to do some landscaping......

Me: "I want to plant some crape myrtles in the yard."
R: "Well, no we might get a pool and then have to dig them up..... if we get a pool.."
Me: "I really want a pool, let's get a pool!"
R: "Should we get a pool? Is our yard big enough for a pool? We need to just sell this house and buy a new bigger house....Can we afford that?"

Usually I just say no, that is not a good idea and the conversation starts anew in about a month, but this last time I said "Sure, what the hay....let's do it!"

Truthfully all I really want are some crape myrtles and a pool, but it seems we get mired down in this whole house debate every time. A few weeks ago we started full steam ahead on the "sell this house" path which meant major cleaning, painting and decluttering that lead to a storage unit...that is now full of lots of junk and a some random toys that I was sure no one would miss. Of course those are the ones they are now looking for... We just don't have room for all this stuff in our house, but after a more in depth study of our budget we have found that our previous notion of "Oh yea, sure we can swing a few more hundred $ a month in mortgage payment" may not be the smartest idea. This point was punctuated by my sudden toothache followed by the first trip to get one of 2 required root canals today. HELLO UNEXPECTED BILL.... That will run us about $1200 once all is said and done... Yea for our awesome insurance but still $1200 is a blow to the ol checking account, kinda like the 16 shots they gave me today were a blow to the ol mouth.

(Number of times small people have called "Mommy...." while writing this....about 31.......)

Sewing has come to a halt....I just don't have time and am not sure how i ever did. I am hoping to get back to my machine and clear out some fabric soon, but with all this painting, cleaning and child maintenance, I am not sure when that is going to happen....

OK now on to more important things...the homeschooling...schooling the boy has been both the most rewarding and most stressful thing I have ever done. I know without a doubt that it is what God has called me to do. For years he has been whispering to me and nudging me in this direction, and finally I stopped listening to all the self doubt and all the "experts" who told me you cannot homeschool a child with autism. My poor child was in 2nd grade and falling farther and father behind because his sensory issues made it impossible for him to focus on anything in a small crowded classroom of 32 wiggly, noisy bodies. He was so stressed about school and would cry getting ready for school every morning, refuse to eat any breakfast, sit in a deafening cafeteria crying with his hands over his ears not eating any lunch, and would be crying when I picked him up everyday. He would do little if any work at school and the teachers had no way of making him. They tried reward charts, treats and even missing time at recess which was really more of a reward because he could finally get away from all the commotion. Eventually school being school, they would just move on to the next activity whether he had finished or even started the previous one or not. But really the worst part about it was that it was killing his little spirit...he was simply miserable...and he was ALONE....alone all day in a sea of noise that was just too much for little boy with autism to handle. The school's answer was to take him out of inclusion and put in into a self contained Special Ed classroom.....NO THANK YOU was my reply.

I'mmmm BAAAAAAACK!

2010-03-06T12:50:00.000-08:00

I won't bore you with all the details, but in summary....

I've been to see doctors...lots of doctors.

I've had tests...lots of tests.

They put me in a cast..for 5 weeks (AT CHRISTMAS)!

I've been scanned in multiple fashions, they even shot me with radioactive dye...

They still don't know why I hurt or how to fix it.

Hmmmph!

But they did after 6 months of appointments finally give me some steroid meds.

They helped...a little.

But at least enough for me to SEW AGAIN!!!!

YEA!!!!

So I started slow with this...

Ok that was easy enough.

Now on to this....

Finally I got brave enough to try this one....

See it here.

Hoppy Esater!

Pumpkin Patch and Stuff Happens

2009-10-18T08:45:00.001-07:00

I LOVE this time of afternoon/evening!!! I always seem to miss it though when I am trying to take pictures....I was so happy to get a few shots before the sun slipped down.

My big guy insists on carrying his own pumpkin nowadays.

I can remember when we first started taking him here, he could barely reach the pedals on this thing...now he is all scruncthed up with his knees practically in his face still trying to fit on it.

Wants to be just like her brother...ya know

Some of you may have noticed my absence from the ebay world as of late and it appears that absence will continue if my wrist gets its way. Despite all my icing, resting and efforts to wear a brace it is just not getting better (actually getting worse). The crazy part is that I have been to 2 different doctors who are scratching their heads as if I am some kind of medical oddity, all the while my wrist is screaming at me to find someone to fix it. If any of you have any ideas for what might be wrong with a wrist that is hugely swollen from the pinky side of the finger all the way down to past the wrist including the lower palm of the hand, makes popping sounds when moved, and feels like a seering ball of fire....PLEASE let me know!

So as it seems, I will not be doing an customs for ebay in the near future ....sigh.....

And now for all the LISTINGS....

2009-08-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

I've got relists, resells, customs, .99 NR, you name it....

Rudy

Candy Apple, yep I'm NUTS! This one is CUSTOM and .99 NR!

How cool! Found this over at This Is Boutique on this little ELFI resell...

Reaching far back in the closets for this little Ice Cream resell...

And another way back in the back...Gymbo Turtles!

My Baby is 5!

2009-08-30T04:59:00.000-07:00

First things first...the big girl decorated her own birthday cake...by adding about a whole container of sprinkles to the top...it was actually delicious.

"Cake's good Ma!"

Yep, another cake! She had an Ollie Koala birthday party with her friends...it was far and away the easiest and most stress free party we have ever had...all we did was show up! No cleaning the house or other prep at all!

I had always wanted to do an outdoor party at our favorite park...but as you can see, unless we move her birthday to November around here, I don't think it's gonna happen!

August Mania

2009-08-27T19:51:00.000-07:00

First Day of School:

L1 2nd Grade, L2 Kindergarten

L1 is showing us his Indiana Jones muscles here, they have gotten a lot bigger since 1st grade!

"Bye Mom, go on, go on, I don't need you to stay here with me....."
*SNIFF*

I shed more than a few tears over this one, how is my BABY girl ready for this?

L2's 5th Birthday,

Tha Last Days of Summer &

New Listings

coming soon....

Pinata Day and other Summer Musings

2009-08-09T05:48:00.000-07:00

Lets' face it...it's summer, sometimes we just get bored...too hot to play outside...so we need some indoor excitement...hence...Pinata Day!

Now, I had told the kids that we would MAKE our own pinatas, you know the FREE kind with a balloon, some glue and newspaper strips...But then I was not feeling well and went to lay down for a nice little nap. Somehow while I was snoozing the kids proceed to tell Daddy about how mom said they could have pinatas, and not being the crafty kind he takes them to Party City where they spent and outrageous amount of $$ and come home with these.

L2 tries to "help"...umm...not a good idea to stand in front of L1 while he is swinging a bat.

There she goes!

L2's turn...

notice that large pile of "to be folded" laundry in the background...

that pile is the bane of my existence.

MAGIC!! It disappeared! I am always running around trying to keep "messes" out of photos. I don't know why, the truth is we live in a constant mess.

If you look closely at one of the photos below you can spot a full trashbag sitting up againt the door, just begging to be taken out. Such is life.

And we all watched Hannah Montana in 3D....Robby got some new photo editing thing for his ipod and likes to make us all look electric...

And Princess got caught red handed (or red pawed).

My Sweet Apple

2009-07-16T13:30:00.000-07:00

I love this dress!! I especially love the fact that it fits with the whole first day of school "apple" theme, but at the same time it does not scream ABC's, and thus it can be worn year round...see I really am try to help ya'll out here! L2 was pretty enamored with it too, as you can see...

Click here to see it...

Let's Get TINKY!

2009-07-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

Whew! It's been awhile I know. This daily summer routine has been keeping me hopping.... with all the swimming, craft and painting projects and the desperate search to find indoor playgrounds in this sticky FL heat...it always amazes me how little time I find to sew in these supposed lazy days of summer. In the midst of it I did manage this TINKY Dress for Ivylane's Wings On Things Launch.

I used Patty Young's Frieda pattern for the top of the dress and I think the fact that I rarely use patterns was coming through because I swear when I read the instructions it was all clear to me....but I probably sewed the wrong parts together the same wrong way about 3 times before I got it right. Combine that with the fact that L2 has worn this dress for the past 2 days straight, and you can see why the sample is not for sale.

And...did you see Melissa's super awesome bows????? They were the inspiartion for this set...i saw them listed awhile back and just HAD to have them! So the dress was made to match. L2 was constantly leaning her head down and reminding me as we took the photos..."Don't forget Miss Melissa's bows Mommy!"

And Miss Cree over at This Is Boutique has been super duper nice to me lately...i got another of of these...

WooHoo!

M2MG Mermaid Magic

2009-06-19T19:55:00.001-07:00

Click here to see :)!

And what a happy surprise.....I woke up to find this today!!! I LOVE this site....thanks Cree!! :)

Her Royal Garden

2009-06-06T17:14:00.001-07:00

Chick here to find it. :)

Scrappy Custom

2009-06-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

I made this sweet little Apron Dress as a cutsom and boy, it's a good thing it only needed to be about a 9 month size...cause that's all the scraps I had left of these fabrics.... I will miss them too. I sold L2's set as a resell a few months ago when it became a mini skirt on her. I do have a new set in the works done with some very similar fabrics, so be on the look out in a few days. :)

Summer Drawing

2009-05-31T07:56:00.001-07:00

My big guy has taken an interest in drawing as of late after his class watched a vhs tape (from the 80's I think) about how to draw animals etc. Having no luck tracking down this video on Amazon we headed off to Barnes & Noble in search of some drawing books....

This one by Ed Emberley was just what I was hoping to find. Perfect for any aspiring artist, it has shows how to use very simple shapes and put them together step by step to create a ...

masterpiece! (yes, it's an elephant...the first one he's ever drawn!)

And we got this one for my little princess artist....

At first I was taken aback at how much smaller her creations were than those in the book...guess tiny fingerprints make tiny creatures.

Dancin

2009-05-30T19:36:00.000-07:00

today was recital time for my L2

that girl LOVES to dance almost as much

as she LOVES makeup and getting "fancy"!

after a bit of a rough go at dress rehersal this morning

she NAILED it!

Yes, I am one proud MAMA!

She could have gotten up there and just jumped up and down for all I care, but my sweet sensitive one likes to get things right and boy did she ever!!

A Little Surreal...

2009-05-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

So when Ivylane decided to have a guest launch, I knew just who I wanted to invite....but I was more than a little nervous thinking there was no way she would accept an invitation from little ol' me. Well, I was pleasantly surprised to find her answer to be...YES! Of course I am talking about the fabulous Cree of Bowznstuff!!!! I have admired her work for so long, this has been a dream come true to have her as my guest. Her designs are obviously the quintessential original boutique... fun, whimsical and any little girl's dream to wear. But it is not just that... from everything to photography, presentation, the fact that she can make her own bows (sadly, I have no hope in that dept.), that uber cutie pie baby girl of hers and her ability to create a ruckus of a following with her buyers... she is in my opinion one awesome lady. And to top it all off, so dang NICE and down to earth...
Yea, I pretty much heart Cree!

So here is my contribution in our fun trip to the Magical Land of the Unicorn...

This fabric is unsanely cute and it even has SPARKLES in it.

I had some fleeting thought about selling the sample...what was I thinking?

L2 wore this for 3 days and would only take it off when she had gotten some chocolate on the top that I told her would not come out unless I washed it right away...

so this one is a keeper.

See the cutsom auction here...

and all of the fab IVYLANE TRAVEL auctions HERE.

Sneaky Peeky....

2009-05-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

Be on the lookout Monday....

Pass the klenex

2009-05-12T16:49:00.001-07:00

My baby boy turned 7 today...

My baby girl graduated from PreK today....

What I will miss most about PreK.... all these sweet songs

I have driven through the car line at this school everyday for 3 years now...and i do not know what I am going to do in August when I have to take them BOTH to the big kid school...how is it possible that we are done with Preschool???

They both had this sweet teacher for 4 Year Old class...we so love her!

Even Robby got in on the action and turned 37 today! Yep, he and L1 share a birthday...30 years apart. I don't have to cry over his though...I think he just gets hotter with age!

My Baby Boy

2009-05-10T10:13:00.001-07:00

Homemade GFCF Star Wars cake: $30

Castle Bouncy House : $115

Pizza and Treats for 30 : $150

Watching my BIG guy have fun at his first ever BDay Party with "friends": PRICELESS

Oh my, how much he has grown!!!! I can only remember 2 other parties where we invited other kids...#1 and #2, and that was before we knew any better. Both times he quickly became overwhelmed, so by the time #3 rolled around we had learned our lesson and kept the parties after that low key with only close family...much more to his liking. I was more than a tad nervous this year when he told me he wanted to invite his school friends, all 18 of them. But he's been maturing by leaps and bounds, so after having a discussion just to make sure he knew how noisy and full o people our house would be, I agreed.

And he was right, he really DID want them there. He was so excited to show them all around the house, happily sharing his toys even. And this year we even made it through singing the birthday song with no tears. I just can't believe how he has grown!!!

Not Cool Mr. President

2009-04-30T18:15:00.001-07:00

I found this post on one of my daily reads Autismville and I think it pretty much sums things up....

Autism Awareness Sibling Style

Amy brought me this letter today, asking if we could mail it to the President. I thought it was worth sharing.

She's eight, but she has a lot on her mind, that one...

******

Dear Barack Obama,

When you said the thing about the Special Olympics, it really hurt my family. My little brother, Jack, has autism and we felt like you made a joke out of him. He's a great person. Sure, he has autism. But he's the same as anyone else in the world. I think he's the best little brother in the whole world and he shouldn't be made fun of.

I am in third grade and my little brother gets notices about kindergarten but he can't go to my school. A lot of people in public make fun of him, and it makes me feel bad. My brother doesn't even seem to understand that people think that he's dumb or stupid. He is practically normal, but it's just something in his brain that makes him different.

Really, he's not dumb or stupid at all, but he is unique.

Now a lot of people think it's okay to make fun of people with special needs. But I think that people with special needs are strong, because they have a hard time learning. But they're trying their best.

Sincerely,

Amy Ursitti

Has it ever occurred to you?

2009-04-28T10:38:00.001-07:00

that things could get so turned around you would not even recognize them?

that someone could view you in a way so far from what reality really is?

that people twist reality to better suit their purpose?

that things are often not what they seem?

Yes, I know I am speaking pretty vaugely here. I used to think the world was very black and white, that when someone did something very bad it was totally apparent and no one would miss it or be fooled into thinking it was OK...but that is not the case all the time. As time passes people forget, except the people whose lives have been forever changed by it, and while a sort of forgiveness may come it still does not erase what was done in the past...things are different now. But sometimes people on the outside find it benificial to rationalize those bad things when it suits their purpose and makes them feel better. That is fine but the truth remains, it does not go away.

Mermaids Among Us and a bunch of other stuff

2009-04-13T14:05:00.001-07:00

Not much time for blogging lately...seems like all I have been doing is coming in and going "Bleck, here's some pics..can you use them to decipher what is going on in my life at the moment?". When the truth is, no, for you to really be able to acurately do that I would need to post pics of my gross kitchen floor and show some images of me losing and NOT returning library books, hmmm...

My mind is just a mess of about a million things all the time and I find myself with all these random portions of thoughts... things I would like to sit down and ponder a spell on.

I wonder when I will be able to sit and eat a complete meal while it was still warm without having to undress and redress a polly pocket doll, look for a lost bouncy ball under the fridge, or find some clean towels (a feet in itself) to mop up the 2 litter of Dr. Pepper that the cat knocked over after it was left perched on the edge of the kitchen table by a 6 year old with a caffeine problem. I find that I do in fact eat less per sitting since by the time i get back to my plate it looks cold and considerably less appetizing than the last time I saw it. But no worries that's not helping me shed any pounds. I find myself back in the pantry pretty soon afterward getting out another morsel of something i will be unable to finish as well.

We went on a very fun vacation over Spring Break to Chattanooga to take in all the touristy spots- Ruby Falls, Rock City, the Incline Railroad. I am still reeling over the fact that we did it with no major incident...it was just plain ol fun! I would have blogged it in my copious spare time last week had I not gotten an email from Photobucket recommending that I upgrade to their Pro account (you know that one you have to PAY for- as IF!). They seem to think that I am running out of something called "bandwidth" and soon all my imagines will explode and be no more, which would be bad for my auctions. So at first I sat stuptified because my brain doesn't have a lot of spare room to contemplate unexpected problems that do not involve small plastic objects or things that cry. Then I went out and created several more photobucket accounts (and hijacked my husband's) so now I am hoping my "bandwidth" (whatever that actually is) will be expanded enough to hold all the photos.

See the mermaids here.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

So much going on!

2009-04-05T20:17:00.000-07:00

For as long as I can remember, my L2 has NOT wanted anything to do with getting her ears pierced. I have not pushed or prodded her along in any particular direction (although I have secretly been wanting to see some sparkles in those tiny ears), but when she was 2 and saw her little baby cousin with earrings she wanted to know if it would hurt...I didn't lie, but I tried to not make a big deal about it either.

Well, on our Disney encounter with little Emmy and Rilyn she noticed that they both had some sparkley earrings of their own. Little Emmy even told her that it only hurt this little bit (picture tiny fingers pressed together). So that was enough for her...the need for earrings has been strong since then.

I was fully prepared for the worst though when I heard that the Claire's at our mall only had one worker person til later in the day, meaning she could not have both ears done at the same time. She had a Baby Sleeping Beauty and Baby Prince Phillip sitting in her lap and the promise that she could take them home as soon as BOTH ear#1 AND ear #2 were done. Only one ear = no Babies leave the store.

I don't know why I even worried though, she wanted those sparkle flowers earrings more than anything and did not even flinch when each ear was done. I was ready for the full on crying and she did not even shed a tear! Four is such a wonderful age!

This one of course does not even show the earrings, but just look at how happy that girl is to have them!

Ebay Friends

2009-03-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

I'm So Excited!! (plus a sneak peak)

2009-03-26T08:00:00.001-07:00

We are headed to that Magical Place tomorrow and I could not be more excited to go...we are meeting my good friends Debbie (polkadotsandpigtails) and Kelly (emerson*rose) down there and oh my the girls are gonna have such a blast!!! And ...here is a sneak peak of what I will be listing when we return....

Cake Night

2009-03-25T19:42:00.001-07:00

Did you ever see a bunch of little boys bake cakes?? L1's Cub Scout pack had a Cake Night contest at their last Den Meeting.
He wanted to enter his in the "Most Colorful" category...

fitting for a boy who loves rainbows.
His cake was Gluten and Casein Free of course, and I swear I am not biased, it was the best tasting one there. I have finally found a delish GFCF cake mix for Chocolate Cake and of course "Butter"cream icing made with Earth's Balance and Vanilla Silk instead of butter and milk is so YUMMY!!!! There were lots of people eating his cake with NO idea that it was milk and wheat free.
In spite of all the most colorful color you see here, he got beat out of his category by a very bright cake covered in Skittles...that's ok he had so much fun making this one!

Elfi in the Garden

2009-03-13T12:43:00.001-07:00

Did I mention I am in LOVE with Azaleas??

see the dress here...

Something New for Etsy

2009-03-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

Sweet and simple, this dress fits the bill for plenty of everyday twirling. I made it for L2 to wear on Picture Day and she wore it for 3 days straight.....

Meanwhile the illnesses continue....L1 sinus infectiuon last week, puking this week. Me and L2 both have the head cold now.

On other fronts it has been a destructive week....my laptop (you know the NEW one I have only had a few weeks) has been destroyed (broken lcd screen at the hands of L1) and a new fairy dress I had ready for a launch was cut on by a rouge boy with scissors...it is almost fixed and ready to list. Deep breath... (or 2 or three)...

Daisy Days is here...

2009-03-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Click here to see

I'm Gonna Cry

2009-03-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

What happened to my sweet baby boy who sat fascinated watching Kipper and Harold with his magical purple crayon? I've wanted to keep that innocent nature with him and have had to be pulled kicking and screaming into the world of the BIG BOY......I have fought Spongebob and Transformers and kept them at bay for the most part. But it really started with Scooby Doo. Now, as a kid I myself loved me some Scooby, but somehow it seems so much scarier now that my babies want to watch it. We did have one stipulation, and that was we only watched the OLD sckool Scooby shows, the new ones are actually more scary in my opinion. Then this weekend it happened....

Yep, Star Wars... I guess it's ok, I mean he does turn 7 in less than 2 months. I have already heard most of the other little boys in his class talking some SW game on more than one occasion, so it seems I have been holding him back in the social circles by not letting him watch it. I just want to keep all those fighting images out of his fresh young mind and keep it full of balloons and fairy tales somehow. But today I lost my battle. He sat with his dad, glued to the couch through back to back episodes of both the first Star Wars and the Empire Strikes back. And came home with a book he had made of pictures retelling these fabulous new adventures... adventures much more riveting than any with little Harold. So now it is real, he is a BIG guy who will go back to school on Monday with his recounts of the "Meninium Falcon" and Storm Troopers, etc. just like those other boys....Wah!!!!!

From MOSH to Monkey Britches

2009-03-06T09:42:00.001-08:00

You would think after taking a trip to the Museum of Science and History I would have some pretty neat photos of exihibts and whatnot....but instead I have this one of L2 peeking out of the treehouse...

and that one of the water system....

and a little dancing.

And not related to MOSH I have a boy who loves his new monkey britches :).

"Monster Britches"

2009-03-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

People always ask me if I make anything for my son...well yes, but he is more of a PJ kinda guy.

I got this COOL monster fabric from my sweet friend Melissa of TheBowVine. She sent me literally the perfect amount of it (not hardly a scrap left) to make 2 pair for her little men and one pair for mine. L1's little piece of it had been sitting lonely in my cabinet til he was looking over my shoulder the other day as I was parusing through a newer Mini Boden catalog and he spied some monster applique tees. Specifically the one with the monster on a skateboard (he is a true fan of both) and told me..."Mommy you need to make me that!" Well, that settled it... and I knew I needed to whip up those "Monster Britches" to match.

Oh Happy Rainbow

2009-02-28T13:05:00.001-08:00

Here's one to match Gymbos Happy Rainbow line..

Check it out here...

And these bows are just FANTABULOUS!!!! We LOVE you Melissa!!

Bike Day

2009-02-27T20:07:00.000-08:00

L2's class had "Bike Day" at school yesterday. All the kids brought their rides and helmets and the teachers turned them loose in the back parking lot. Yes, that is mine, the one "dancing" while walking out in the line.

With our favorite teacher of all time.

She was so proud of herself! It has not been too long ago that she was very timid about the bike and needed lots of help and encouragement, now she is off like a flash!

All Fixed Now- that was weird

2009-02-26T15:52:00.001-08:00

WHY ARE ALL THESE CRAZY PLAYLISTS PLAYING ON MY BLOG??!!!

2009-02-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

Where is MY playlist?? Everytime I refresh it is a new even weirder playlist!!!

Ohhh Sweet FREE Bows!

2009-02-23T17:54:00.000-08:00

Sweet Jamie of **jjbb** is having a bow giveaway in celebration of Ivylane's Sweets Shoppe launch that started today. Want some fab bows? All you have to do to win is visit the IvyLane blog, search though our listings and pick your fav to post...that is if you can pick just one! Have fun!

M2MG Candy Shoppe

2009-02-23T04:22:00.000-08:00

Click here to see :)

My Star Student

2009-02-22T19:43:00.000-08:00

L2's gets her turn to be "Star Student" this week at school. It's a very exciting time in the life of a 4 year old. She gets to bring in her favorite snack for the class (Krispy Kreme- Lord help us all), have her picture up on the class board all week (you see which one she picked- tractor girl!), and she also gets to be interviewed...

When I grow up.....
I will be a Mommy, a doctor (to give poeple blood tests) and a ballerina.

I am proud of myself because.....
I clean up my room and I am a good friend.

What I like most about school is.....
playing puppies.

I am a star student because.....
I help everybody write their name and I try my best.

I am good at.....
drawing pictures of my family, riding my bike and dancing.

My favorite subject is.....
science and being polite.

Oh my HEART!

My sweet wild child

2009-02-21T20:33:00.000-08:00

She has wild ways, even her hair is wild...

I think Midnight is my Favorite

2009-02-20T22:06:00.000-08:00

My PaPa built this barn, back oh I don't know, maybe 60 years ago. I can remember a time when it was filled with the squeals of pigs and surrounded by a field full of cows swatting flies with their tails. My Papa drove a beat-up Ford truck, wore faded OshKosh overalls and dusty brown boots everyday. In his pockets he carried peppermints and a dog-eared miniature notepad with notes about his brood..."such and such pinkeye 3 days...etc.". I have only those kinds of memories about him, things a little girl would remember.

Like when he laughed and laughed after pulling my little sister out of the bed of the truck and set her sqaurely down into a fresh pile of manure. She was wearing her new Mickey Mouse flip flops that matched mine and well...she was not happy. She was crying, he was laughing, and I was standing with my hands on my hips yelling at him to "Stop laughing at my sister! Hmmp!".

One day while my Granny was frying up some goodies, he walked into the kitchen and forgetting my sister and I were there I think, "goosed" my Granny right on the rear. She screamed, smacked him and they both turned back to see Andi and I cracking up at the table.

I miss him terribly and wish he was here to see his great-grandbabies. The tobacco he farmed is the reason my memories of him stop at age 12. Two of the other barns have already been torn down, but I think they are gonna have to get through me to take this one.

Something Sweet is Coming...

2009-02-19T10:03:00.000-08:00

In A Day

2009-02-16T18:31:00.000-08:00

...trip that is.

We went to visit my Granny today. Three hours up and three hours back in one day, it's not too bad of a trip really. She and my Papa farmed the land years ago and the place is littered with reminders of an era gone by. I love the country...I mean love it. I does something for the soul to go to a place where you can look in all directions and basically see no other sign of human life. I think it is the expanse of space I love. Nothing but grass and trees and little critters all around. A far cry from the smashed together houses where we live. I took about a million photos today realizing I don't have any that showed the simple features of the landscape there, all the things that seem so familiar to me in this place I have spent countless vacations since my birth. I am getting acquainted with photoshop and spent most of the drive home "playing" with it on my laptap (seems the colors on my laptap where I did my editing are MUCH less vivid than here on my desktop at home).

My Valentine (fun with photos)

2009-02-14T16:45:00.000-08:00

My sweet hubby....

(ain't he a hottie?)

He's such a good sport..posing for me while I try out my new lens. It's scary when I play in photoshop sometimes!

Wild One

2009-02-10T07:15:00.003-08:00

Just listed this M2MG Twirl skirt for the Zebra line...L2 had so much fun with these pics (I'm pretty sure she thinks she is a supermodel). I know most of the Gymbo tops in this line are long sleeve, but I just couldn't pass on the chance to make somthing for it even though most of us are buying for spring now. I am planning on making L2 a short sleeve applique top to match the skirt so she can keep on wearing it into summer. My friend Melissa of TheBowVine made these super FAB matching bows- LOVE em!

sneaky sneaky

2009-02-09T16:01:00.001-08:00

Oh Happy Day!

2009-02-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

It not everyday that I get to share news this exciting... I am beyond thrilled to join the fabulous and talented ladies at IvyLane! I have a few new sets to list this week after I receive my box-o-bow goodies from my girl Melissa. (I'm out waiting by the mailbox can't you tell?) I have admired these girls for so long and can't wait to make a little something sweet to list with them...stay tuned!

A Little Spacey

2009-02-04T07:22:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, I can remember vividly all the daydreaming I did. I was thinking things through all the time and happy to be with my own thoughts. They were good thoughts, I was a happy kid. I was reminded of this recently while having a talk with L2's preK teacher. This teacher is by far my favorite teacher my kids have had ever, very sweet and patient and we just all around LOVE her. I have now had the pleasure of having both of my babies go through her class and frankly I would be thrilled if she could just go following them all through their school years.

We were very happy with L2's progress and the things we heard she was doing at school and then this little word popped up "spacey- sometimes, just a little bit". I was not surprised, I have seen it myself at times. But it feels kinda like the blind leading the blind if I am to do anything about it. So what does it mean exactly? Well, for me, I have always felt like my mind is a little unruly, like it has a mind of it's own (no pun intended). It is never thinking of nothing, quite the opposite, it is thinking about most things in depth. It thinks about colors and sunlight a lot, music and misc analysis of words. I can only wonder what hers is thinking on, but one day maybe she will tell me. I imagine some parents may hear that word and think some action must be taken to correct it, but I am not one of those. I am happy to have my little thinker :).

Remember this one? Now listed as a custom...

Andalucia "Fire & Ice"

2009-01-26T08:20:00.001-08:00

Fire and Ice

I was so excited to get my hands on this gorgeous fabric by Patty Young. The colors are beyond vibrant and just dreamy when paired with these other cool tone prints. My unmodely girl is starting to like these photo sessions. This time we walked on a little nature trail behind our library and she was totally enthralled with collecting rocks- I think she liked the rocks more than the lollipop. That's my little nature girl.

I am just starting to realize how much the things I say to her are really shaping her little personality. She made a point to show me all the differences in the trees we saw..."this one is skinny and has tall bark, and look over there that one is has a bump bark". Well, at least she is thinking about it.

The other day she dropped part of her banana on the grass outside and tells me "oh it's ok a bird will come eat it...but i would never never ever drop gum, he would choke"

When recounting the events from her day at school she often tells me about so and so getting in trouble and when I ask her if she did this or that unapproved activity her response is usually "No, Momma. I have my own mind." Thank goodness!

Last night I asked what i thought was a simple question concerning a pile of blocks on the floor..

Me: "Who dumped these blocks out?"

L1: "but my wii remotes were in there"

L2: "but I'm wearing the can"

Maybe it's better that I just don't ask anymore.

Kitty Love

2009-01-11T07:27:00.000-08:00

Remember this girl????? (the fact that she is sitting in a giant bird's nest is irrelevant i promise)

My finger sucking girl is all grown up!!!! She decided that getting a baby kitty was incentive enough to be a grown up girl who does not suck fingers. There is a part of me that will miss this sweet finger sucking baby, but for her teeth's and finger's sake I am ecstatic.

We used a sticker chart and originally she was to go a full week with no fingers to earn this little nugget. But after 4 days of going cold turkey she was doing so well I decided we would just go "look" at the shelter...well, you know what happened.... Mommy's heart melted just like hers when we found her kitty. She is 2 months old and had the name "Sissy", which L2 promptly changed to "Princess" (of course!). This poor kitty has been so sweet and tolerant and has not had a moment to herself.

Yes, I finally finished something

2009-01-10T15:31:00.000-08:00

This one has been on my back burner for quite some time. I made it at the request of one of my VERY PATIENT and sweet buyers. I don't think I am going to get away without making one for L2 though..she wants it BAD.

I know I should be sewing...but the Park was calling...

2009-01-09T20:38:00.001-08:00

L2: Let's play you be the Prince and I be the Princess
L1 tries to ignore her

L2: I be the Princess who turneded to stone and you beed the Prince who has to kiss me so I wake up.
L1: Do I really have to Mom??

L1: Oh OK, I guess I'll do it...

L1: (smooch)
L1: Ok you are all woked up now.....

Cleanin Out!

2009-01-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

It's a New Year and L2 needs more closet space (don't we all!)....so here is a Sample from last year that I was saving for one of those "special occasions"...you know, the kind that never seem to happen and then they do that growing thing...this one is WAY too small on my Size 6 girlie this year....Check it out here.

And this one too...

We've Been Good

2008-12-24T22:09:00.000-08:00

I Hope I Remember This

2008-12-23T18:49:00.000-08:00

L2: Momma I can go outside?

Me: OK, you can go in the backyard... put on your crocs first.

L2: Uhhhh! (hands thrown violently across her chest) You're being mean!!!! It's not THERE!!!

(translation- there = fair)

Oh boy....

What I Want for Christmas

2008-12-23T09:21:00.001-08:00

a nap...please...pretty please...

A Letter about Lead Testing

2008-12-22T06:42:00.000-08:00

Hi,
I am writing concerning the new CSPIA legislation that was passed on Aug 14, 2008 and goes into effect on Feb 10, 2009 concerning the ban on lead and other substances in products for children under age 12. While I commend the overall goal of keeping our kids safe, I feel that the wording and implementation of this law will have a serious economic impact on small businesses who strive to produce safe and handmade products.

I am a stay at home mom with an autistic son and I have been able to make ends meet enough to stay home with him by designing and selling handmade clothing for toddler girls. My clothing is all 100% cotton and is inherently lead free. However, now I will be unable to maintain my family's income because as a seller of one of a kind items I will not be able to afford the required testing on my products.

It seems to me that testing for lead in children's products should be done similarly to how we test for drunk drivers. Do we make every single person take a breathalyzer test at their own expense and post the results in their dashboard every time they get in a car? Instead of the guilty til proven innocent mentality of this new CPSIA law that requires redundant testing of every part at the enormous expensive of the manufacturers, how about just making a law that all children's products can't contain lead. Now every manufacturer big and small is subject to spot checks by the government- like those State Patrol roadblocks they use to test for DUI's on certain days/time when they suspect many people will have been drinking. Just think of all the new government jobs that would be created making a whole new division to oversee and direct all this testing.

That way the government can actually go after those toys that were causing the problem with out putting all of the rest of us whose products DO NOT CONTAIN LEAD in the first place out of business. By making the penalties very steep for offenders the government can recoup any expense of testing all the rest of us. Put those companies who have hazardous stuff in their products out of business and help the rest of us who are making safe products continue to flourish!

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
A Mom Trying To Keep Her Kids Out Of Day Care

WOW CPSIA!! So now we will be Stay At Home Criminals???

2008-12-20T17:43:00.000-08:00

Read this if you don't already know about it.

I bet you didn't know it...but all of us crafty boutique designers have been secretly plotting to posion your children with lead ( have you ever heard of COTTON fabric that contains lead??). Aw man, looks like the government finally outsmarted us and now wants us either behind bars or sitting twittling our thumbs at home wondering how we are going to make ends meet enough to stay home with our children. Now I don;t really think this law was ever really intended for us, but the wording is such that it appears it will be the end of custom boutique as we know it. I am still looking for some answer that says it will not affect us, but so far I can't find one.

It's a good thing I can sew, I guess though in light of the fact that companies like TCP and Gymboree will no longer be able to afford to stay in business with all the testing they will have to do. What company can afford this testing???? Certainly not us little guys (would you like to pay $500 for a patchwork skirt??? More fabrics = more cost for testing). But I bet lots of even the larger retailers will not be able to absorb this cost. I guess after Feb 10 my girl will be the only one wearing my creations- or will that be illegal too???

O Christmas Card... O Christmas Card...

2008-12-16T15:54:00.000-08:00

That perfect Christmas Card photo...aren't we all in search of it?? When one looks cute the other is doing one of those alien impersonations, or sometimes they both are. I think next year we will go with a bloopers type card, I would certainly have enough material to choose from eh? Here are some of the photos I sifted through this year...

So here are the 3 that ended up on the card (I can't quite figure out how to save the final card so I can post it here).

Notice the big puckering going on by L2 and the "Ick, don't make me kiss my sister!" expression from L1. Hee hee- fun times!

The Nutcracker...A Boy and his Monkey

2008-12-07T18:40:00.000-08:00

Priceless

2008-12-05T18:22:00.000-08:00

I have very mixed emotions when it comes to the Bear Building place. Mostly I love it- the look of wonder and excitement on her face, now that is priceless and brings me sheer joy. But sometimes when I look around I feel a little icky about the whole marketing and money part of it. Now of course I usally feel kinda ill when we get to the register, but I mean more than just the panic of what a trip can do to your bank account....I mean the whole thought that someone in here has tugged all this $$$ out of me by pulling on my daughter's heartstrings (to which mine are obviously attached). Now fortunately for me this trip was for her little friend's 5th birthday party, so that made it much less painful on my wallet. So far she has named every bear we have from this place Princess, along with about every other doll or animal in our house....even the suckerfish on our fishtank is a Princess.

In Summary

2008-12-04T13:42:00.000-08:00

2 Kids with Pneumonia...before, during and after Thanksgiving...I don't recomend it, at all. Thank God for Emergency Rooms and Antibiotics...they're all better now...and so happy mommy FINALLY let them go outside...

This is the first year that I actually did not decorate the Christmas tree. Seriously, they did it themselves with chairs and step stools. As soon as I realized it I was so sad. I can remember when they were so little I was afraid to let them touch certain orniaments for fear they would break... Now that all of those are long gone, they have free reign. Luckily I am not particular about orniament placement.....

I ran into a friend from back in my working days after Prep class at our church the other night. We just said quick hellos and I was thinking to myself "Why is he picking up someone else's kids???? Where are A and K???" Upon closing my car door it hit me like a tidal wave.... those teenagers WERE A & K. I've been home for 5 years now....

Did you see the handprint on the mantle above?? It came home from L2's PreK today with the following message..

Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
But every day I'm growing up
And soon I'll be so tall
That all those little handprints
Will be hard to recall.
So, here's a special handprint
Just to say
This is how my fingers looked
When I placed them here today.

I just cried and cried!

It's Ruff

2008-11-21T20:14:00.000-08:00

Now that I have my new camera Robby has inherited my lil ol Cannon powershot and let me tell ya- he has been liberated. He takes about 200 pics a day now, hence...

Love

2008-11-20T08:13:00.000-08:00

I just brought this one back from last year. I listed it so late then I only had time to sell the sample, this one is in plenty of time for a custom size. Look how tiny my baby was then :(.

Can you tell I'm saving up for Christmas?

2008-11-11T16:57:00.000-08:00

Sweet and simple tee dress..

Plus more resells.....

I'm about to sell everything that's not nailed down around here. I know I usually say I am sentimental and don't sell her sets....but well... sentiment only goes so far when Santa's workshop is empty. KWIM?

!!!!!!!!!!

2008-11-10T09:21:00.000-08:00

Did you ever have...

2008-11-09T21:20:00.001-08:00

an insanly visceral connection to a place you have never been? Can something seem so familiar even if you have never actually seen it with your own eyes? I will get there- I just have to!

Cleaning out the Closets

2008-11-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

Samples and Resells galore!

Beauty and the .... Axman?

2008-11-03T02:44:00.000-08:00

Now, never in a million years did I ever think I would let my child dress in something so scary, and I'm sure I never would if it weren't for one small thing....autism.

In years past we have worked so hard just to get L1 to put on a costume at all. For his first 3 years I could not get him to dress up or trick or treat at all- and that was before I even knew WHY he was this way. But he has a fascination with all things spooky and scary- he loves them. Now why I do not know, I cannot even watch shows or movies that are slightly scary or have any suspense in them whatsoever. I even turn off the tv if a comercial for one of those prime time crime shows comes on.... so he has not seen lots of scary stuff.

He came up with this years costume all on his own. He pulled his play fireman's ax from his toxbox and proclaimed that he wanted to be a an "Axman" and then asked to go to the store to find a black cape. I was NOT happy about his choice of costume, but..... remembering the struggle of past halloweens I was floating on air that he did want to dress up at all. So... off we went to the costume store and you can see what he picked out to go with his ax. Now I did ask him what he thought an Axman did and he told me "they run around and carry an ax". Well, OK.

Me?

2008-10-27T18:54:00.000-07:00

Thank you Angel!! My sweet friend Angel of TaDa!Creations just gave me a very happy award... the SMILE award. I don't know if I really fit all the requirements but what the hay.. thanks :)!

Characteristics for the Smile Award:
1. Must display a cheerful attitude.
( That's a little optimistic, but I think so most of the time.)

2. Must love one another.
( Awwww...and kitty cats too! )

3. Must make mistakes.
( Goes without saying... have you read my blog? )

4. Must learn from others.
( Everyday )

5. Must be a positive contributor to blog world.
( When I'm not slackin at least. )

6. Must love life.
( insert smiley with heart )

7. Must love kids.
( At least when I am not breaking up their fights and cleaning chocolate off my wall. )

These are the rules for The Smile Award:
1. The recipient must link back the the award’s creator.
2. You must post these rules if you receive the award.
3. You must chose 5 people to receive the award after receiving it yourself.
4. You must fit the characteristics of the recipient of the award.
5. You must post the characteristics of a recipient.
6. You must create a post sharing your win with others.
7. You must thank your giver.

Hmmm... 5 people??? I'm a kinda shy girl and Angel already took a few of mine (insert smiley with toungue sticking out) so how about just a few..

Jennifer of Bella Tessa Designs. She is a groupmate of mine and I love to check in on her blog a see what her cute family is up to. She always has such a positive outlook on life and is always doing so much to help out all of us Peas.

Kristen of Blue Bottle Designs. Another Pea sista of mine- she is SO full of life and you know you will get to read something interesting if you visit her blog. I still can't believe her hubby built a working elevator for the family treehouse! Plus she is ALWAYS leaving me fun and encouraging comments on my blog- flattery will get you everywhere my dear!

I know I am leaving out a bunch of others- but I am kinda doing it on purpose so you guys will have some more peeps to pass this along to!

Fit for a Holly

2008-10-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

Just sharing a new dress I made for a sweet buyer of mine with a little girl named Holly. I thought this fabric was pretty fitting...eh? Plus it is just so pretty anyway!

Here's the Link

2008-10-20T07:23:00.000-07:00

Click Me.....Click Me.....Click Me

Sneaky...sneaky...

2008-10-11T12:08:00.000-07:00

Even though I know I am a good girl, I still get a little nervous when the fuzz rolls up on me. So there we were, me and L2, having a fun time while taking these shots. I knew it must be too good to be true- she was smiling, posing and just being a total ham. I had been driving past this old church on the way to school for a few weeks, thinking that it may be an interesting place to take some photos. I'm not even sure what kind of church it used to be, but it has a very unique look with some Swiss style (???) dark wood beams criss crossing everywhere. So anyway, it has been closed for about a year I think. Everytime I saw it, it made me kinda sad that a church had closed and a new strip mall had openned just down the street- what is wrong with this picture??

After waiting for the past 3 days (to no avail I might add) for some sunshine to show up in the sunshine state, we set out today to take our photos, clouds and all. We had taken about 30 shots as we were walking across the parking lot and up rolls the fuzz. Is taking photos in a chruch parking lot a crime?? I didn't think so, but it made me sorta nervous that he was just sitting there watching us.....so we split....urrr....ummmm.... I mean we were done taking pics so we got back in the van and went home. I didn't even get any shots of the pretty building :(.

TRUST ME.......This hurts me more than it hurts you!

2008-10-07T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well...in an effort to promote "Truth in Blogging" (thanks Lila and Chelsea) Here it is......my sewing room. AHem...My HALF sewing room and HALF kids playroom. I have not been able to escape the toys in our tiny house, even my own little retreat is full of their... well, you know.

Now in my defense, this is pretty much my limit- I mean as bad as it gets. I go through progressive phases til I get to the point that I just can't take it anymore and go on a rampage clean. It's just so hard to stop doing the creating that I go in there for to try to esacpe the rest of my chaotic life and then... actually do more of the same thing I do every other living moment of the day- CLEAN!

Often I will look around and wonder how in the heck things got in the places they landed. I have no good explaination, except that when I am putting something together fabric is flying and usually small people are bringing me various items that need some sort of "fixing" or "opening" or just generally require my attention in some form. Why are there 3 timers on my tables?? No, I do not time myself while sewing, but I do sometimes get caught up in a fierce game of "Hey, Mom- Time me while I play Perfection (and no I need to use a different timer than the one on the actual game)".

I really feel like I need some kind of ariel shot to fully capture the expanse, but you get the idea.

Oh, and if you look really hard you may see a sneek of my new Christmas skirt that is awaiting my completion of its applique top....it's coming....

For the Love of......

2008-10-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Animals that is...

L2 will literally catch any baby creature that moves...lizards, frogs, worms, beetles...you name it, she has come running at me with it pinched between her little fingers begging to make a home for it in her room. We have a rule that all the creepy crawlies have to be "returned to their Mommies" after a brief observation period (ya know in the name of science and all) so as not to make them "worry" over their missing babies. This is "Princess the Lizard" if you were wondering.

L1 took his prized goldfish aptly named "The Golden Boy" to church tonight to be blessed in honor of St Francis. He is suppose to live a long and happy life from now on....we shall see.....

PEAce on Earth

2008-09-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

I brought back an oldie but goodie from last year after a few emails requesting it....plus I really needed something to list for my PEA launch and am running short on time for making a new set. ALthough I do have a new one in the works- one with more of a euro christmas feel- that's for next week. You can see the Nativity Set HERE.

My Tiger Cub Baby

2008-09-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Me!

2008-09-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

Well, mama's got a new baby....

Oh yea! This was my birthday present to myself (along with the 75-300 lens), and for a girl who has no idea whatsoever about photography I am in shock at the pictures it takes. I have A LOT and I mean A LOT to learn. I played around inside a little with it the other night but I can't wait to read some more and take it outside where I don't need the flash...

Let's Give a HOOT!

2008-09-13T13:25:00.000-07:00

Check it out here!

Back to School = Back to Being Sick

2008-09-08T03:06:00.000-07:00

UGGGGGG!!!! I won't elaborate and bore you with the snotty nebulizing details, but..... UGGGGGGGG!!!!!